ABOUT ME
INTRODUCTION
I AM A RAT GIRL FROM DIGITAL HELL
you may call me canvas or dizzy! i go by she/her and it/its pronouns (with no specific preference!). I love exploring and making many types of art including digital art, animation, 3d modeling, and music! my different skillsets help me explore different parts of my identity.
WHAT MY ART MEANS TO ME
IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED, ACTUALLY
sometimes it's about drawing silly characters... but i also believe my stories and media constructs are based off of fictional experiences i think are interesting to tell. many of my stories express identity and social conflicts due to my life being so absorbed around those concepts! Flaws can't just be flaws and there are so many different kinds of mentalities and conflicts you can potray with nuance. Projects like my music label tend to be more of a personal expression compared to my digital character art. it just depends!
HOW THE INTERNET SHAPED MY LIFE
IT'S A SMALL WORLD
Internet culture was very important to my development! getting involved in online communities helped evolve my interests and social skills. i believe i am able to express who i am today because of the internet. i have met so many kind and talented people on here - even my partner. the internet definately had bad moments for me, too, but they ultimately helped shape me as a person reguardless. at a young age i was always judged for how i acted - but on the internet it was like everyone understood me. i love this little small world and the silly little people on it.
MY STRUGGLES WITH MENTAL HEALTH
THERE'S HOPE SOMEWHERE...
mental heath is something that has undoubtably stunted me in almost every reguard. despite my struggles and ups-and-downs, despite the things that happen because of my mental health- there is always a light at the end. i'll tell you this - scars never, ever go away but they can heal. you can find healthy ways to deal with your problems and manage on your own, even if it's not perfect. i kind of see it as metamorphisis, like a new you. you are always becoming a new you and that's so beautiful. please try to love yourself.
SELF WORTH JOURNEY
MAY 25TH, 2025
i have always had identity issues, and i never made that a secret. but once i kept searching for an answer and found nothing - i started to realize the problem was myself. i wasted most of my teen years trying to be the bare minimum for everyone else, and it killed my pride and self-worth. i was destroying myself, and i didn't even realize it... but i made a promise to myself. i need to change. i need to live for myself instead of trying to live for other people. don't shut people out - but don't let their opinions control you anymore. you are more than everybody's average - you DESERVE to be yourself. be yourself. be cringe. cringe is beautiful. so let's be beautiful. this is the only way forward. i love you.